


A feeling of betrayal

by deancas_ship



Series: SPN Season 12 codas / What could have happened [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 12x15, 12x15 Coda, Angry Dean Winchester, Castiel Comforts Dean, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Castiel is going to Heaven, Coda, Dean Needs A Hug, Dean Needs Castiel, Dean Needs Love, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s12e15 Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell, Hurt Dean Winchester, M/M, Post-Episode: s12e15 Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell, Sad Dean, Sad Dean Winchester, Sam works with the BMOL, Season/Series 12, betrayed, spn 12x15
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2018-10-29 03:04:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10845174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deancas_ship/pseuds/deancas_ship
Summary: As he is about to go to Heaven with Kelvin, Castiel feels Dean's pain and tries to help...-----------What could have happened after the end of 12x15 if Dean had not reacted well to Sam's confession (working with the BMOL)...





	A feeling of betrayal

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys !
> 
> So, this is my first Oneshot, I hope it won't be a really bad work... XD  
> I think we can call this a Coda... It takes place after the end of the episode 12x15.
> 
> I've had this idea of story in my head for a while now, and I finally decided to write it and share it...
> 
> I want to apologize for my English and my lack of vocabulary before you start reading because I'm French, so I don't really know how to write a story in English... XD
> 
> I also apologize for the title... I really suck at finding titles XD
> 
> Enjoy !

Castiel hangs up his phone and stares at the screen for a few seconds before putting it back in his coat.

 

“You’re ready brother ?”, Kelvin asks, eyeing Castiel.

 

Castiel doesn’t answer. He just stares at the sandbox, also known as the gate of Heaven, which starts opening, in a flash of light.

 

But Castiel suddenly feels bad. He doesn’t why. He just feels… bad. He thinks, staring, without really staring, at the light from the sandbox. Kelvin takes a step forward. But Castiel doesn’t move.

 

“Brother ?”, Kelvin asks again.

 

And then, it suddenly hits him. This is not Castiel who feels bad. This is Dean. Castiel can feel that Dean is feeling betrayed and angry and sad. But why ? He seemed to feel good when he talked on the phone a few minutes ago. And it’s not only Dean’s feelings that Castiel can feel. There is also a longing. Dean’s desire for Castiel to be there, with him. Castiel doesn’t know if Dean if aware that he is actually longing for his presence now, but he can hear it clearly in his mind.

 

“Wait.”, Castiel says to Kelvin.

 

Kelvin turns to face him and he notices the frown on Castiel’s face. He frowns too.

 

“Is everything alright ?”, he asks.

 

“I’m not sure.”, Castiel answers, “I need to go. Can you wait for me here ?”, he adds.

 

Castiel doesn’t wait for Kelvin to answer or even give him his approval. He’s already heading back to his truck. He needs to see Dean.

 

****************

 

Dean feels betrayed. So betrayed. By his own brother. Once again. Why did he have to do this to him ? Really ? Working with the British Men of Letters ? Why ? Why are they so special ? Why does Sam find them so interesting ? Oh, yes of course, they have all this equipment and technology. It’s obvious why his nerdy little brother fell in their trick.

 

He’s now pacing in his motel room, thinking about how and why Sam would do that. And then, his mind flows on Castiel. He really sounded weird earlier. Even through the phone, Dean could feel it. What is wrong with him, again ? Is he planning on doing another mistake ? He really hopes not. He stops in the middle of the room and looks at his phone on the table.

 

“Dammit Cas, we need to talk.”, he says, passing a hand through his hair, “I… need to… I don’t know…”, he adds, pacing again.

 

After a few more minutes of pacing, he eventually pulls out his computer from his bag and sits down on a chair at the table.

 

Before leaving the bunker, he had found a new case, without the BMOL’s help. But Sam had interrupted him on his research in an attempt to explain himself. But Dean wasn’t in a mood to listen to him right now. So he left, taking his laptop and some books, talking about the creature he had found a case about, in the bunker’s library.

 

He was still doing research, when he hears someone knocking on the door. He looks up from his laptop, his face still in his palm, with a raised eyebrow. Who could possibly visit him now, at 9 pm ? And why ? Maybe it’s the monster who found him before Dean could find him ? It would be weird.

 

Dean gets up from his chair, grabbing a gun in his bag. He heads to the door, his gun pointed in this direction as he walks through the room. He grabs the door handle, turns it slowly and opens the door violently, pointing his gun at… Castiel.

 

“Hello Dean.”, Castiel says, eyeing the gun.

 

“Cas ?”, Dean says, very surprised, “Why are you here ? How did you find me ? Weren’t you on a lead on Kelly ?”, he adds, lowering his gun.

 

“I…”, Castiel begins hesitantly, “I sensed your… longing.”, he finishes.

 

Dean raises his eyebrows.

 

“My longing ?”, he asks.

 

“Yes.”, Castiel answers with a nod.

 

“What do you mean ?”, Dean asks.

 

“I was going to… I was preparing to go and find Kelly but… I felt bad suddenly. And I realized it was because you felt bad and you were longing for my presence.”, Castiel explains.

 

“I… Huh… What ?”, Dean asks, confused, “How could you feel that ?”, he adds.

 

“Angels can hear prayers but they can also feel someone’s longing when it’s strong enough.”, Castiel answers.

 

“Oh…”, Dean says, not knowing what to add.

 

“So, what’s wrong Dean ? Why do you feel sad, angry and betrayed ?”, Castiel asks.

 

“Sam did something I don’t approve. Don’t worry for me, I’m fine.”, Dean answers.

 

“You don’t look like you’re fine.”, Castiel says with a sigh and raising an eyebrow.

 

He then takes a look inside the room. He sees the laptop on the table, and the various books, some of them opened.

 

“What is all of this ? Are you working on a case ?”, Castiel asks, as he enters the room, pushing Dean with his shoulder to make him move from the door.

 

Dean rolls his eyes and closes the door behind them. Castiel is now looking at the screen, to see what Dean is hunting.

 

“Yes. I found a case. Without any help.”, Dean says.

 

“What does that mean ? What happened ?”, Castiel asks, looking back at Dean.

 

“Sam has been working with the BMOL for a moment now...”, Dean says, pinching the edge of his nose, “So we kinda had an argument and I ran out of the bunker.”, he adds, looking into Castiel’s eyes.

 

“But why you feel like he betrayed you ?”, Castiel asks.

 

“I guess it’s because he didn’t tell me.”, Dean says.

 

“Maybe he didn’t tell you because he knew you would react like this.”, Castiel says, staring at a book on the table.

 

“What’s that supposed to mean ?”, Dean asks, frowning.

 

Castiel looks back at him with a little smile.

 

“You always react like this when you feel like someone didn’t tell you everything… or when someone didn’t do things like you wanted them to do…”, Castiel says, filling the book in front of him.

 

“I… Huh… Yes, maybe you’re right…”, admits Dean, falling back on the chair in front of his laptop.

 

Castiel stares at Dean for what seems like hours. As Dean notices it and starts to feel awkward under Castiel’s staring, he looks up from his laptop.

 

“What about you ?”, Dean asks.

 

Castiel stops staring and pretends to fill the book again.

 

“What about me ?”, he says.

 

“Well, you sounded weird on the phone.”, Dean says, resting his head in his palm as he stares at Castiel.

 

“Really ?”, Castiel asks, giving him a quick look.

 

“Yeah… Maybe you can feel when I feel bad. But I can feel it too when you act weird.”, Dean says, still staring.

 

“Huh… I’m fine. I was just unsure about what I was saying. I mean, I don’t know if my informations are true or if I will find Kelly and Dagon so…”, Castiel says quickly, “Mmmh… Maybe I can help you with your research while I’m here.”, he adds, impatient to change the topic of their conversation.

 

Dean stares at him for a few more seconds before looking back at his laptop, aware of the fact that Castiel doesn’t want to say anything more about why he is acting weird.

 

“Okay…”, he says.

 

Castiel gives him a little smile, takes the book he was filling and another one too, and he heads to the queen sized bed. Dean watches him in the corner of his eyes. Castiel leans a pillow against the bedhead and sits on the bed, resting his back on the pillow. He crosses his legs, puts the book he already filled next to him and opens the other one.

 

“Dude, shoes !”, Dean grumbles.

 

Castiel looks up at Dean, and then he looks at his feet, confused.

 

“What ?”, he asks, looking back at Dean, frowning.

 

“Don’t put _your_ shoes on _my_ bed. That’s a rule.”, Dean says, pointing at Castiel’s feet on the bed.

 

“Oh… sorry.”, Castiel says, reaching for his feet.

 

He takes off his shoes and throws them on the floor, at the end of the bed. He then takes place back, resting against the pillow and crossing his legs again.

 

They stay in silent for a long moment doing their research, Dean’s breathing and the laptop being the only audible sounds in the room. After what seems like an hour, but is actually a few minutes, Castiel sigh.

 

“There is nothing in those books.”, he says, putting down the book his was reading on the bed, “Did you find anything in the Internet ?”, he asks.

 

Dean rubs his face with the palm he was resting on and looks at Castiel.

 

“Yeah…”, he says, getting up from his chair and taking his laptop, “Check this.”, he says, heading to the bed.

 

He sits on the other side of the bed, leaning a pillow against the bedhead, just like Castiel did earlier. He then makes himself comfortable, moving on his pillow to find the bed position. When he finds it, he finally hands his computer to Castiel, who takes it and rest it on his lap.

 

Dean shows him the paragraph on the page, leaning a little forward. Their shoulders brush, making Dean blush a little. He then leans back against his pillow, resting his hands on his belly, and staring at Castiel as he reads the paragraph Dean showed him.

 

“That’s interesting.”, Castiel says, continuing to read the page.

 

Dean doesn’t answer. He’s not even sure he heard what Castiel said. He is just staring at the angel, lost in his thoughts. He then turns his head and stares in the void in front of him. And he stays like that for a few minutes, as Castiel keeps reading.

 

“Thanks Cas.”, he suddenly says.

 

Castiel turns his head and looks at Dean with a raised eyebrow. Dean is still looking in the void.

 

“For what ?”, he asks.

 

“I don’t know…”, Dean answers, still looking in the void, “Just… for being here.”

 

He then turns his head and meets Castiel’s eyes. They stare at each other for a few seconds before Dean looks back in front of him, breaking the eye contact.

 

“To be honest, I was feeling lonely. I don’t like being alone.”, he says, blushing a little again.

 

“Well, you’re welcome.”, Castiel says, still staring at Dean, “I like spending time with you.”, he confesses.

 

Dean turns his head, his mouth slightly opened in surprise, and tries to catch Castiel’s eyes. But Castiel is already staring back at the laptop’s screen, pretending to read. And… is that z blush on his cheeks. Dean can’t tell. He doesn’t even know if angels can blush. But he stares at Castiel’s cheeks, as if he was hypnotized.

 

Castiel notices that Dean is staring as he sees him in the corner of his eyes. He clears his throat.

 

“So… hum… are you planning to go back to the bunker soon ? And talking with Sam ?”, he asks, looking at Dean, locking eyes with him.

 

Dean then realizes that he must has been caught staring. And he blushes again, looking away.

 

“Huh… yeah… I don’t know. I… I think I need some time. I mean, first it was Mom, then Sam. I just can’t face them right now.”, he says, “Now, will you tell me that you are working with the Brits too ?”, he adds, looking back at Castiel with a concerned look.

 

Castiel looks at him, not answering for a few seconds. He sees the worry and the pain in Dean’s eyes. He looks like he couldn’t handle another betrayal now. Of course, Castiel isn’t working with the BMOL. But, he is planning to work with the angels. And he knows Dean would not like that. At all. But he needs to find Kelly. So he will try. He will just wait to tell Dean. Wait until he’s ready to handle another betrayal. It hurts Castiel that he will have to hurt Dean’s feelings again. But he has to do it.

 

“No, Dean. I don’t work with them.”, he says, looking back at the screen.

 

“Good.”, Dean says, giving him a quick look before looking back in the void, “Can you read the rest of the page aloud, please ? I’m too tired to read it myself.”, he adds, giving another quick look at Castiel.

 

And then, Dean suddenly feels tired. No, exhausted actually. Their shoulders are still brushing together and Dean can feel Castiel’s warm body through their clothes, which makes him relax. Maybe too much.

 

Without a warning, his head slowly falls and he’s fighting with his brain to keep his eyes open. And before he knows, his head is resting on Castiel’s shoulder.

 

“What are you doing ?”, Castiel asks, as he looks at Dean’s head on his shoulder.

 

“I’m tired…”, answers Dean, trying to find a comfortable position by shifting on Castiel’s shoulder.

 

“But, Dean… Huh… I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable but… you know, in movies… when they-”, Castiel begins hesitantly.

 

“Cas, life ain’t a movie.”, Dean says, tapping Castiel’s arm.

 

“But-”, Castiel tries to argue.

 

“Just shut your mouth and read.”, Dean cuts him, waving at the screen to show Castiel what he wants him to read.

 

“I can’t ‘shut my mouth’, like you say, and read at the same time, Dean.”, Castiel says with a little smile.

 

“Come on, you understood what I meant.”, Dean says, tapping Castiel’s arm again.

 

Castiel chuckles. Yes, HE, Castiel angel of the Lord with a stick in the ass, chuckles. It makes Dean feel so much better, so he smiles, the corner of his mouth rubbing against the trench coat. And then, Castiel starts reading, just like Dean asked him to.

 

Dean struggles to keep his eyes open as he listens to Castiel’s rocking voice. Dean can feel the vibrations of Castiel's voice through his body, which rocks him too. And without knowing it, he closes his eyes, and he can’t open them again. And he falls asleep.

 

When Castiel feels Dean’s mass relax a little more on his body, he stops reading to look at him. He stares for a long moment at Dean’s peaceful face, and he listens to his light snores, before he closes the laptop.

 

He then thinks about what he is about to do. Going to Heaven, to work with the angels, and find Kelly and Dagon. Or maybe not find them. Does it worth a shot ? Does it worth Dean suffering for this when Castiel will tell him what he has been doing and Dean will feel betrayed ? Again. But, Castiel has to try. They really need to find Kelly and her baby. This baby can’t be born. So yes, Dean will be hurt, again. But, he will feel better after a few days, eventually. And maybe he will be able to forgive Castiel for what he is about to do.

 

After a few minutes of debating if he should do it or not, Castiel looks back at Dean’s face and he smiles. But it’s a sad smile. Because he knows he will hurt him, again. He just keeps failing with Dean.

 

He then extracts himself delicately from under Dean, trying to not wake him up. He lays Dean’s head on a pillow and gets up from the bed. He puts his shoes back on and he grabs the books and the laptop and put them on the table, so Dean won’t hit them in his sleep if he moves. And then, he takes a blanket and puts it on Dean. He then stares at him for a few more minutes before heading to the door.

 

Arrived at the door, he grabs the handle. And he stops there. He turns back his head and takes a last look at a snoring Dean.

 

“Good night, Dean…”, he says.

 

He turns back his head and turns the handle. And he leaves.

 

****************

 

When Dean wakes up a few hours after that, he feels so comfortable that he doesn’t want to move.

 

And then he remembers. He remembers that Castiel knocked on the door. He remembers that Castiel sat on the bed. He remembers that he sat next to him. He remembers feeling exhausted. He remembers his head falling slowly on Castiel’s shoulder. And he remembers how it felt comfortable.

 

But now, it’s not the same kind of ‘comfortable’. Something has changed. His head is resting on something soft, not as strong as Castiel’s shoulder.

 

He opens his eyes, and turns his head in the direction where Castiel was when he fell asleep. Nothing. Dean is alone on the bed.

 

He sits on the bed, pushing himself on his elbows. And he scans the room, looking for a trench coat. Looking for dark hair. Looking for blue eyes staring at him. But no. Nothing.

 

“Cas ?”, he calls, hoping that it will make the angel appear.

 

Nothing.

 

And his face falls. And he falls back on the pillow. He feels bad again. When Castiel was there, he felt better. But now he’s gone, he feels bad again. Sad.

 

****************

 

As the gate of Heaven opens again, like it did a few hours ago, Castiel stops. He suddenly feels Dean’s pain. He sigh. He know he is the one who caused this pain. But he will find a way to apologize when he will come back. With a win. He hopes.

 

He gives a last look at the playground around him, and he follows Kelvin.

 

_THE END_

**Author's Note:**

> So, did you like this Oneshot ?  
> A comment would help me ;)
> 
> I also write a story, with chapters and all... Read it [HERE](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10053113/chapters/22399790) ! ;)
> 
> \--------------  
> [ My Instagram ](https://www.instagram.com/deancas.ship/)  
> [ My Twitter ](https://twitter.com/deancas_ship)  
> [ My Tumblr ](https://www.cas-angel-of-dean.tumblr.com)  
> 


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